ESPYs Ceremony Highlights: Snubs, Surprises, and a Ridiculous Porta-John Incident
Lindsey Vonn turns heads at the ESPYs – The “Nightcaps” daily feature delivers the essential sports, news, and cultural moments you might have overlooked while pretending to work. This column appears Monday through Friday on OutKick.com. We’ve officially crossed into a new week, and even more exciting—we’ve moved past the end of the month as well. The ESPY awards ceremony took place last evening, and honestly, I had completely forgotten about it until I woke up this morning. What a pleasant shock!
Back in the day, the ESPN-hosted awards show was must-watch television. It consistently marked the midpoint of summer programming. During years without a World Cup, it typically landed on the slowest sports calendar day, creating a perfect bridge between seasons. However, this year’s edition arrived and departed with barely a whisper. That’s entirely understandable, considering how ESPN’s relevance has diminished over recent years. And frankly, the network didn’t help its own case during last night’s broadcast.
Major Snubs Dominate the Evening
Speaking of disappointments, welcome to Thursday’s Nightcaps edition, where ESPN seemingly ignored our exceptional American hockey squads entirely. The oversight is genuinely hard to comprehend. You’ll understand once you see the details. Additionally, Lindsey Vonn captured attention on the red carpet, and then there’s the absolutely worst-case scenario involving a portable toilet. And no, I’m not referring to being accidentally locked inside. I mean literally dropping through the toilet bowl and becoming trapped beneath it. I’ve never felt more appalled.
Grab yourself a beverage—your choice today—and prepare for this Thursday edition. Before diving in, check out that video if you can spare the time. I watch the Jimmy V speech annually around ESPY season, and it remains absolutely magnificent. Here’s a personal anecdote: during my college public speaking course, students needed to select one speech for their final presentation. I picked that particular one. I’m pretty sure I performed poorly, but it doesn’t matter. It remains my all-time favorite speech, even surpassing Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address!
From that 1993 moment, we’ve arrived at last night’s ESPY ceremony. The transformation over three decades is genuinely astonishing. Do you believe people from 1996 who remembered the 1950s and 1960s witnessed such a dramatic societal shift? Absolutely not, right? While that performance generated conversation, it wasn’t the evening’s true headline. That honor belonged to the New York Knicks, who inexplicably received the Best Team award. The other nominees? Well, let me verify I have this correct.
Both the American men’s and women’s Olympic hockey teams captured gold medals this year, with the men securing their first victory since the legendary Miracle game. Yet ESPN presented the Best Team trophy to the Knicks instead. Makes perfect sense, I suppose. Furthermore, they honored OG Anunoby’s tip-in during Game 4 of the Finals as Best Play, beating out Jack Hughes’ Golden Goal that secured Olympic gold. Honestly, I’d argue that tip-in wasn’t even the second-best play of the entire year. I’d rank both the Golden Goal and Miguel Rojas’ ninth-inning, Game 7 tying home run from the World Series above it. What exactly are we witnessing here? In what universe does a game-winning, gold-medal-clinching goal by the USA—winning for the first time in forty years—fail to earn play of the year recognition? It’s completely baffling. Oh well. ESPN must cater to NBA viewers. That’s practically written into their operating manual, I suppose.
DeChambeau Responds to Faldo Criticism
But what isn’t in the rulebook? Falling through a porta-john toilet and requiring rescuers to cut you free: “Come on, get out of there!” “Watch yourself, we’re going to cut way back, get all the way down!” “I’m not lifting, lean forward!” “I can’t, dumbf–k.” “I’m the dumbf–k? While you’re stuck in a f–king urinal?” Absolutely incredible content emerging from Kansas City today. I’ve never witnessed anything quite like it. We truly live in remarkable times, everyone. Take it all in. As Jimmy V reminded us, don’t assume anything is guaranteed.
Now, let’s accelerate through this Thursday edition quickly. First topic: while most of us were sleeping or enjoying morning coffee, Bryson DeChambeau was competing at elite level golf at Royal Birkdale. Following a dreadful season where he missed every single major cut, Bryson delivered a 3-under 67, placing him tied for fifth after Day 1. This achievement arrives just one day after Sir Nick Faldo thoroughly dismantled him. “He has, and I’ll say it directly to his face, zero clue of strategy,” Faldo declared before the opening round. Tell us exactly how you feel, Nick! Naturally, Bryson responded accordingly.
