‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help

‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help

Martha Ongwane now gazes with warmth at her four-year-old daughter, Rachael, who giggles and bounces around the home in Mzuzu, northern Malawi. Two years ago, she had considered ending her child’s life, overwhelmed by the challenges of raising a non-verbal, restless, and biting girl diagnosed with autism. The emotional strain led Martha to a dark place, where she imagined pouring poison into a cup, hoping it would silence Rachael’s struggles and end their family’s hardships.

“I told myself it would be better if she died because that would mean she would rest and that would be the end of our problems,” Martha recalls softly, her eyes reflecting on the past. But her heart wavered, and she wept, deciding to keep her daughter instead.

Her journey from despair to hope began after a critical visit to Mzuzu Central Hospital. There, Rachael was connected to Saint John of God, a Catholic-run initiative offering care for children with disabilities. The organisation provides both mental health services and a school tailored for those with special educational needs, becoming a vital support system for Martha and her husband. Through counselling and guidance, they found a community that understood their struggles and equipped them to manage Rachael’s unique needs.

Autism, a neurodevelopmental condition affecting communication, social interaction, and perception, impacts over 60 million people globally, according to the World Health Organization. Yet in Malawi, where mental health resources are scarce, many remain unseen. The nation has just two developmental paediatricians and three consultant psychiatrists for a population exceeding 22 million. Terms like “ozelezeka” or “ofuntha” are often used to describe autism in the Chichewa language, perpetuating stigma as it conflates the condition with mental disability or behavioral issues.

Local beliefs also contribute to misunderstandings. In a nearby community centre, Christian and Muslim leaders gathered for an autism awareness session. Some still associate the condition with witchcraft, suggesting magic could be cast on pregnant women. Christopher Mhone of Saint John of God acknowledges these misconceptions, using the meetings to shift perspectives. He explains how practical interventions can alleviate symptoms, emphasizing the need for broader societal support.

Reflecting on Martha’s story, Mhone says, “For a woman to reach a point where she feels she should kill her child, as a nation we have failed her. Her burden became so heavy she lost the strength to cope.” While basic mental health services exist at district levels, much of the care relies on NGOs and charities. For families like Martha’s, access to these resources transformed their lives, proving that understanding and support can turn tragedy into triumph.